Season 02 Episode 09: Radiant Self-Control

Aug 1

This season we have focused on living a radiant life for Christ through evident transformation of the Holy Spirit. Evidence found in Galatians 5:22-23,

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

This is the final episode of this season, and we are wrapping it up with the final aspect listed, self-control.

We would all agree that self-control is a good thing. As a society, self-control is a necessity to prevent chaos. It is required to follow even basic rules. Self-control should keep you from stealing and committing murder. However, self-control isn’t something we like to discuss when it comes to things like eating, exercising, clicking buy now on Amazon, binge-watching our favorite show on Netflix, or even better reels on Instagram. “The “typical” internet user spends almost 2½ hours each day using social media platforms, equating to more than one-third of our total online time.” (Kemp, 2024)

Yet we frequently complain about not having enough time to pray, go to a small group, or read our Bible. I’ve even caught myself complaining about how tired I am, and I like to pretend it’s because I’m so busy. No, it’s because I stayed up well past when I should have gone to sleep, getting in my 2 ½ hours.

Thinking about self-control my mind wanders to toddlers and young children. When my boys were little, I was adamant about them eating what I made for supper. I wasn’t a complete tyrant I always made sure there was at least one thing they’d eat without complaint, but sometimes it still made mealtimes a battle zone. Once, when my oldest was about five, I wouldn’t let him get up from the table until he ate five bites of the sour cream enchiladas. He ate five bites alright, and his stomach promptly rejected all of it. Now, I believe it was because he’d made himself sick over being upset, not that my enchiladas were all that bad (side note they are now his most requested Mom order when he is home).

It's a little humorous to me when I consider how much we work to regulate the behavior and choices of these little humans. Why? We realize they don’t have the self-control needed to make the right choices. Given a choice between ice cream and broccoli, which do you think they will choose? Let’s be honest, which one do you want to choose? One of my all-time favorite reels is of a woman holding an Oreo to her nose with one hand and inhaling strongly as she forces herself to take big bites of broccoli with the other. We know those kiddos need the vitamins found in those veggies but we don’t often have the self-control to make the same choice for ourselves.

We limit screen time and insist on naps all in the name of good parenting. Yet, we ignore people right in front of us because we can’t put down our phones and can’t come close to comprehending the true meaning of taking a Sabbath.

In the New Testament, the most common Greek word for self-control temperance in the KJV, is enkrateia. Its root meaning is "power over oneself" or "self-mastery." Self-control, in its widest sense, is mastery over our passions. “What the Bible says about enkrateia” (Bible Tools, 1998)

If we aren’t careful I believe we can get hung up on self-control as it relates to our faith and even our relationship with God.

Have you ever battled a habit, a habit perhaps you felt or knew wasn’t right?

Many measure their self-worth by their inability to shake off a habit. With such mindsets, as “God can’t love me because I can’t stop…” or “God can’t use me because I deal with...”.

In a discussion with a mentor about the fruit of the spirit, I asked a question about self-control. She challenged me to remember self-control is listed last, what is listed first? Love.

Habits often start because we are trying to fill the void left by a lack, many times of love. We believe we need to build our self-control when maybe we need to focus on loving the Lord and others more. In doing so, self-control becomes a byproduct. When my life is centered on loving the Lord, on being with Him, on being like Him I can’t help but become more self-controlled. And while we are on that vein, more patient, gentle, kind all the other attributes we find in the fruit of the Spirit.

True self-control is only found through the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7 ESV)

Yes, we must do our part. What does that look like? If you’re hoping for the keys to breaking all your bad habits, well this may not be what you think. It’s simpler than we make it, but also difficult to practice.

It comes down to two things.

First, recognize where the Holy Spirit is trying to transform your life. Remember what Paul wrote to the Philippians,

“For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose.” (Philippians 2:13)

Unsure of what that is? Don’t worry He will show you if you ask. I often pray this prayer from the Psalms,

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23)

Second, make yourself accountable to someone. I know I’ve said it over and over, but in a culture celebrating individuality, we need to remember, that we weren’t created to do any part of life alone. Have you ever watched those nature shows following a herd of something in Africa? What does the predator always do? Even a lion can’t take on an entire herd of antelope without getting trampled. A predator will always isolate one from the pack. And we read in the Word,

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT)

Find the person who will pray with you, encourage you, and help you get back up when you fail.

Like every attribute of the fruit of the spirit, the more we practice the better we get. I have found one of the best ways to practice self-control is through fasting. I know intermittent fasting is currently a health trend, but fasting in a Biblical sense shifts the focus. Instead of focusing on losing or maintaining weight, every time you desire or want the thing you are fasting you turn your attention to the Lord. There are several different types of fast. The most well-known is a complete fast, but there is also soul fasts-which I highly recommend, fasting things like social media and digital platforms, selective fasts, and partial fasts. I will include some links in the additional reading section if you want to learn more about fasting.

And then love.

Living radiantly means loving God, as the scripture says, with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

When we choose to love God this way the rest of the fruit of the spirit will follow.

Let’s take a moment to pray together.
Lord, thank you for the Holy Spirit who gives me the power to have self-control over both physical and spiritual things in my life. I want to reflect Jesus to the world around me. Search me God, and know me, show me if there is any area of my life, I need to surrender to you. I don’t just want to say, I love you, but I want to love and honor you with my life. Lead me to people who will challenge me and come alongside me on this journey of faith. I want to live radiantly for your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Let’s go live radiantly.

XOXO,