Season 02 Episode 08: Radiant Gentleness

Written By Laura Strand
 

What does it mean to be gentle? Why is it a fruit of the Spirit?

The Greek word Paul used in Galatians 5:23 was prautēs | πραΰτης . Defined, it means mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, and meekness.

Being gentle makes me think of being careful. If I need to be gentle, chances are the thing o situation I am handling is fragile. I choose to be gentle, even though I don’t have to be gentle.

My bookshelf holds priceless artwork. Each of these pieces survived multiple moves because I am the only one allowed to handle their packing. First, I carefully wrap them in newspaper, and then in bubble wrap. I place them inside their own small box and then into a small plastic tote which gets transported in my car as I don’t want them jostled about in the moving van. They remain in their cases until all the other boxes have been unloaded and the bookshelf in its permanent spot. I am gentle with them because each piece is invaluable to me, they were crafted over the years by the once tiny hands of my children. If you were helping me move you would see the word fragile marked all over the container, so you would know to be gentle.

In the same way, God will require gentleness of us when it comes to things precious to Him. The people, callings, and situations He places in our lives hold priceless value to Him. He sent His one and only son to pay the debt of sin so He could be in a relationship with all the people you know. The ones you like, and the ones you don’t. For us to handle these people and situations correctly we will need the fruit of gentleness operating in our lives. Like the definition eludes it is a disposition-an attitude you choose to have in your life.

Being gentle can be counter-cultural. In fact, we are often taught it’s in strength we achieve success. In his article, The Counter-Cultural Virtues of Gentleness and Kindness, Matthew Dickerson said, “Kindness and gentleness are not often valued in our culture, and practicing them may even impede our worldly success. However, through the example and teachings of Jesus, as well as the letters of Paul, the Bible describes kindness and gentleness as virtues: as character traits we are called to practice.”

Jesus, the very model of living out the fruit of the spirit, displayed gentleness over and over, not because He was weak but because He chose to handle situations with care at that moment.

He told the disciples, let the little children to come to me, when they wanted to shoo them away. I don’t suppose they wanted to crawl up into His lap because he was intimidating. No, Jesus was gentle with the little children. Now there were times His power and strength were needed. When He confronted evil, I don’t suppose He spoke gently to those demons. He spoke with authority. However, the people around Him from His mother to His closest friends experienced His gentleness as He cared for them.

Here are two ways gentleness should be evident in the believer’s life.

The way you speak.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”

Have you ever allowed your anger to make you raise your voice or say something unkind? The kind of thing you wish you could take back later. My Irish blood has gotten the better of me more than once, and in anger, I have made a situation go, as they say, from bad to worse—often much, much worse. Responding with anger has never improved a situation, not once over the course of my 45 years. I’m starting to believe it probably never will.

Here's what gentleness does in an explosive situation. It puts out the fire. I’m not an expert on explosives. I do know some type of fuse has to be lit to make it go boom. When you choose to respond with calmness and a neutral tone, no matter how angry the other party might remain, you won’t have regrets later. More importantly, wrath, anger, and bitterness won’t consume you. Being gentle diffuses your anger, and you can still show love to those around you despite someone else’s choices.

Several years ago, I counseled a friend struggling with an angry family member. They were angry because she spoke passionately about her faith. No matter what she did, they would treat her unkindly and try to make the rest of her family angry with her. At one point she asked me to read her written response to accusations they were sharing with the rest of their family. Now, her response was good, full of cutting remarks that would make your eyebrows raise clear off your forehead. It was also dripping with sarcasm and in no way showed any love or grace. I asked her to read her response out loud to me, and the more she read the angrier she became about the situation. Then I reminded her of Proverbs 15:1, and I asked her what the goal was in sending this response. She admitted she wanted them to feel as bad as she did, but she knew instantly it would do nothing to restore the ever-widening gap in their relationship.

Having a trusted friend to share those thoughts and words with is important, if they will help you pray about your response and encourage you to respond in a way reflecting Christ.

You and I can’t control the actions of others, we can only control our response.

A gentle response doesn’t mean you are weak, in fact it takes a great deal more restraint and strength to allow the Holy Spirit to keep a check on our emotions and respond the way we should instead of the way we want to.

Another way gentleness can be evident in your life is by the way you act.

James wrote this about the spiritually mature, “Who among you is wise and understanding? By his good conduct he should show that his works are done in the gentleness that comes from wisdom.” (James 3:13 HCSB)

In other words, we demonstrate our faith in our works, and we demonstrate our wisdom by our behavior and gentleness. Meaning you must use a little wisdom before you respond, don’t merely react to your emotions in a situation. Think about your response, pray about it, talk about it with a friend.

It only takes one glance at social media platforms to see the evidence of a lack of gentleness toward one another.

Being gentle in the way we act, and using wisdom in how we respond should cause us to stand out for Christ. When others are behaving and responding in ways to get ahead and to cause disrespect toward one another, we should not feed into their narrative.

Living radiantly means treating others with gentleness, not just other believers, but all people.

Why? Because God chose to deal gently with us. Our response towards those who have sinned isn’t to condemn them but to point them towards their redeemer. And when that sin is against us, instead of quarreling with them, we treat them with gentleness, believing it can lead them to Christ. (2 Timothy 24-25).

My friend’s family member experienced a significant trauma in their life, and in that trauma turned to her for support, prayer, and guidance. Their relationship was restored and now they can have a respectful conversation about their differing beliefs. This won’t always be the result. Every person must make their own choice, but responding with gentleness opens the door to grace. 

 

Let’s pray together for gentleness to be evident in our lives.

Father, thank you for the gentleness you have shown me. When I deserved your anger, you showed me your love. Lord, I want to be gentle but sometimes my anger causes me to respond rashly. Holy Spirit, let the fruit of gentleness be greater than my anger. Help me to speak a gentle word when others cast accusations or hatred toward me. Let my actions speak of your gentleness and point others to the possibility of repentance. Let me speak words that will build others up, even as they are tearing me down. Let my actions show your love even if my anger feels justified. Today, I choose gentleness. Today, I choose to lay down my situation to you and let you work on the lives and hearts of others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Let’s go live radiantly.




XOXO,

Laura

 
 
 
 
Laura Strand
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Season 02 Episode 09: Radiant Self-Control

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Season 02 Episode 07: Radiant Faithfulness