Episode 001: Radiant Living
I am passionate about helping women live radiantly for Christ. I’ve navigated seasons of feeling unworthy. I’ve made innumerable mistakes along the way. I’m hoping to bring light to God’s promises and the truth about His purpose for you.
I want to talk to you in these episodes about real life. Not the sugar-coated version we see of each other on social media, or the mask we put on when we leave our homes. Real-life moments, and feelings, those distractions preventing us from walking in the freedom God intended.
Moments like a date night gone wrong, and the aftermath following my husband saying three little words…“You look fine.” Hearing my husband speak those words shattered my confidence. Little voices began to whisper “fine” on repeat in my head. Fine meant I needed to change something, and I couldn’t decide if I should be my dress or the YouTubed eyeliner attempt.
I’d spent no less than one hour getting ready. Compared to my daily fifteen-minute routine, a veritable eternity. Fine, not beautiful, stunning, or gorgeous. Fine. It felt like my efforts to create a romantic date night were crumbling around me before we left the house. I knew I needed to let it go. I also knew he probably didn’t mean “fine” the way I interpreted “fine”. But I couldn’t. Instead, as we drove, I chose to sit in silence. A storm of emotions began building as the voices in my head gained volume. If “fine” was the best he could do, why even bother with a date?
Has this ever happened to you? You spend extra time and effort on something big or small: your appearance, a project, a meal, and it goes unnoticed.
Feeling unnoticed, unremarkable, or unworthy inhibits a woman’s desire to put effort into the world around her. After all, why should I try? No one will notice or care. Fading into the backdrop of my life seems easier than exerting pointless time and energy.
Friend, God never intended for you to fade into anything. God wants the best for you, He intends for you to live radiantly. How do I know this?
Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”
We fade into nothingness when we look to others for validation instead of to our creator. People will let you down; they will get it wrong some of the time.
On that date night, I wanted to feel attractive. I wanted my husband to notice my efforts and assure me I measured up. I let tears slip down my cheeks, the darkness hiding my distress, because date night wasn’t holding up to its end of the deal. Every other night was consumed with taxiing kids from one practice to the next, cooking dinner no one wanted to eat, and wearing baby spit up most of the time. Why couldn’t I have one fairytale moment?
Because fairytales don’t exist. Date night scenarios I played out in my head would never match up to reality. Instead of allowing the night to breathe, I choked out all potential with my preconceived assumptions. Yes, we should vocalize needs and desires, but unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment every time.
After living this out more than once, I knew something needed to change. I learned my obsessive need for affirmation was too heavy a weight for others to carry. But unraveling your God-given value from what culture says takes effort.
If I measure myself to cultural standards, I’ll fall short every time. Evaluating my life against others' highlight reels on social media distorts reality. What you think you should do or how your life should look writes a false narrative in your mind. Past mistakes will haunt you creating insecurities in areas you should be confident.
How are you supposed to be radiant when you feel insignificant?
First, begin making daily declarations. When you speak something into existence, the act of speaking and hearing yourself creates a long-term memory.
Repeat this after me. I am radiant. I will shine wherever I go because He lives in me. I will share light in everything I do. Every second is meaningful. I have light to shine on those around me because I have been given purpose, love, and grace by my creator. The darkness of my past is not greater than God’s light. I will be the best version of myself, not perfect, but my effort will be worth it. I am a daughter of the King. I am radiant.
Maybe you need to write your declarations in your journal or leave post-it notes around your house. Or write a lipstick message on your mirror if you don’t mind something extra to clean up.
Job 22:28 (NASB) says, “You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways.”
When you declare who you are, it illuminates God-given opportunities in your everyday decisions.
Second, quit comparing. If you need permission to take a break from social media platforms, do it. You are the only person who can be you.
I have a slight obsession with the British Royal Family. My secret Pinterest boards boast of the Princess of Wales's fashion, hairstyles, jewelry, and you name it. If I could arrange tea with her, we would be best friends. But no matter how much I might strive to emulate her hairstyle and grace, I can never live up to Princess Kate. She has a trainer, chef, the royal jewels, and almost always wears high heels. Even if I had those things, I am not her. High heels hurt my feet.
You and I can’t live the radiant lives God intended unless we let whom He created us to be, shine through.
Beautiful friend, who are you trying to be today?
Galatians 1:10 states, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
If you are feeling less than others, look at your measuring tool, is it Christ or culture? When I’m out in public, I tend to feel like people look at my clothes or check if I’m wearing mascara. I’ve learned people pay more attention to how I act than my appearance. External beauty cannot outshine kindness.
When we allow our lives to be full of His spirit, His light radiating from us creates a beauty culture can’t define.
Third, connect to the Source. When we built our house, I fell in love with a dining room chandelier outside my budget. I cut corners everywhere to make the purchase. I’ll never forget turning it on for the first time. Flipping the switch, I waited for the room to light up expecting the hallelujah chorus to erupt in the background. Instead, a slight glow came from the six-piece candelabra and the only music in the air was my disappointed sighs. I’ve learned not to judge a light fixture until it’s wired and turned on.
Connecting with the source of all light transforms the spaces of your life. Prayer, reading the word, listening to uplifting podcasts, and turning on worship music create God encounters.
In the Old Testament, Moses went up a mountain to speak with God. Exodus 34:29 reads, “When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord.” Moses had a God encounter.
Every day I must choose between distractions or God encounters. On a normal day, when everyone is healthy, and the world isn’t turning on its head, distractions abound. Throw a little chaos, family drama, or work tension into the mix, and voila intentions disappear.
I go to bed at night intending to wake up to worship music, devotionals, and inspirational prayers. In real life, when the alarm goes off, my phone reveals twelve notifications from Instagram, an unread note in Messenger, and twenty-four missed texts from the family thread on mute. Before I take my first sip of coffee, I’m rolling my eyes about someone’s post in my feed and wondering if I should get my eyebrows done. When I sit down to read my Bible, a notification dings, and I start responding to multiple messages and adding creamer to my grocery list. I might try to take a few minutes to pray but by then a kid needs something. Or the dog has an accident on the floor because nobody else remembers to let him out.
How I eliminate my distractions will look different from one season to the next. Maybe you’re a new mom and choosing God first means listening to worship music while you feed the baby. Maybe you have older children and choosing God first means listening to the Bible app in the pick-up line after school. You may be single and choosing God first means putting down your phone or prioritizing relationships.
Distractions exist. Regardless of my season, I can choose to turn them down or turn them up. If I want to live a radiant life, I need to run after God more than anything else. Satisfying cultural demands will bring temporary satisfaction, but I will always be chasing the next big thing.
Living radiantly begins with choosing God first.
Allowing God to become the foundation of your choices creates emotional stability. Expectations and distractions no longer dictate my happiness or the success of our date nights. Well, most of the time. My husband removing the word “fine” from his vocabulary has also been key in building our relationship.
Our radiance will seem to dim some days, requiring us to make new declarations and set new goals. But tomorrow, as Lamentations reminds us, the sun will rise and reveal God’s faithfulness. God will never be too tired to spend time with you. God’s power will never run out, His light will always be greater than any darkness.
Matthew 5:14 proclaims, “We are the light of the world.”
God loves you and He created you in His image, to reflect His light shining before others so they could see our good deeds and glorify God.
Let’s encounter Him together in prayer.
Father, thank you for having new mercy every morning. I love you, God. I know you created each of us with intention. Help me to see if I’m measuring myself incorrectly and let me desire to look more like you. Show me how to minimize distractions in my life. I want to know you, God, I want to hear your voice above the noise. I want to live out the purpose you intend for me. I want to live radiantly for your glory. In Jesus’ name.
Let’s go live radiantly.
XOXO,
Laura
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The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Psalm 34
Exodus 34:29-35
Lamentations 3:22-33
All scripture NIV unless otherwise noted
