Season 2 Episode 003: Radiant Patience
When I say the word, “patience”, what comes to your mind?
How many times you’ve lost it? Trust me when I tell you, that patience eludes me. I find myself taking deep breaths and counting to 10 quite often. This type of patience, staying calm when your teenager back talks or choosing to see sitting in traffic as a blessing, checking your email for the tenth time for the test results, or picking up the dishes scattered all over the house without yelling at your family is important. Google will tell you patience, or hupomene (ὑπομονή) in Greek, is mentioned thirty-two times in the New Testament alone. Old proverbs will tell you it’s a virtue. I’m planning to write a book, someday, about finding patience.
However, when we are referring to the fruit of the spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23, patience means something different altogether. The Greek word here is, makrothumia (μακροθυμία), more closely translated as longsuffering or forbearance. Depending on the Bible version you are reading, those may be some of the words you find when you read these scriptures. This type of longsuffering specifically refers to being slow in avenging wrongs, persevering through trials, and handling poor treatment with grace.
If growing in the fruit of the spirit is necessary to reflect God in our everyday lives, what does this mean to you and me? Why is it important we live with longsuffering and forbearance?
I wish we lived in a world where everyone said “please” and “thank you”, where people didn’t shove to get to the front of the line, a place where others always rejoiced at someone else’s success, where hurting someone else to achieve pleasure didn’t exist. You and I both know this isn’t our reality. I believe the world was the same when Paul wrote his letter to the Galatians over 2,000 years ago. Earlier in the chapter, you will read a dark list of the works of the flesh, the ways we are naturally inclined to live. The fruit of the spirit set us, as Christians, apart from culture’s tendencies. In many ways, they are counter-cultural, the exact opposite responses expected in our world.
We need to know a few things about makrothumia, this longsuffering patience, to reflect it in our lives. What is it and what does it look like?
Longsuffering, according to Webster, is patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship. I like what Martin Collins said in a Bible Study he wrote about longsuffering, “Similar to patience and forbearance, longsuffering is the quality of self-restraint in the face of provocation. A person who is longsuffering is not quick to retaliate or promptly punish someone who has insulted, offended, or harmed him. The opposite of anger, it is intimately associated with mercy.” [1](Collins, 1998)
How well do you handle provocation? The moment when someone is baiting you, just pushing you to respond? A lot of Irish runs through my blood, so you can imagine how well I handle being pushed. More than once, I’ve erupted or allowed someone’s behavior to make me say something I later regret.
I happen to be a fixer, a people pleaser, a mediator, I want everyone to like me. Forty-four years of living has shown not everyone does. I still don’t understand, I’m a nice person, what’s not to like? Those are the people, the ones who have posted unkind things, and even done things to intentionally hurt me or my family, who have pushed me to the limits. I’m not proud to admit my responses have not always reflected Christ. They are more typically a result of my anger and frustration.
While I have needed to navigate and learn patience in these situations I have not personally experienced needing to show mercy to, for example, a murderer. There are situations when it is difficult not to feel the need for revenge or when making the transgressor experience the same pain you are feeling seems justified. I’m not referring to justice, or consequences, and necessary action needed for safety. This is more personal. It is your emotional decision about the situation and the person who harmed you. The question I ask is this, am I capable of forgiveness in the face of unspeakable pain caused by another, am I able to follow Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 4:1-3
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
This aspect of the fruit of the spirit, makrothumia, says as a Christ follower I am to show mercy, and to show forbearance in impossible situations. Would you agree this is counter-cultural? Not to mention the opposite of the way our nature tells us to respond. How can we reflect this in our own lives?
First, we must practice empathy and understanding. In my world, this requires role reversal, and trying to understand why another person might choose to act a certain way. While understanding does not justify wrongs it often explains them.
When I can show understanding for someone else’s situation it allows me to let go of offense more easily.
Paul wasn’t making this suggestion in case we experienced offense, he knew we would experience it. Offense, insult, and being wronged will happen, 100% guaranteed. Paul knew when we allow ourselves to pick up the offense and carry it, the weight turns into bitterness. We can’t live like Jesus, we can’t live radiantly, and be bitter. Ephesians 4:29-32 tells us,
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…ted sighs. I’ve learned not to judge a light fixture until it’s wired and turned on.
I’m not saying this is easy. And I’m not recommending you should pretend everything is ok or allow someone to verbally abuse you. You need to process your emotions when you’ve been wronged, and you need to let someone else’s love and understanding mitigate your anger. Allowing someone you trust to validate your feelings is imperative, but the also needs to be someone who will also encourage you toward a Christian response. When we process our anger and respond to reflect Christ, it keeps bitterness from dwelling and growing in our hearts.
It may also be necessary to seek outside support from a counselor for guidance in processing grief, anger, and depression. When left unchecked, and unprocessed, these emotions will begin to consume and control us, influencing our behavior and attitudes.
Why though, must we forgive?
Colossians 3:12 tells us, As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
It’s because I was forgiven when I didn’t deserve it, I can choose to forgive.
If anyone had a justifiable reason not to forgive me, or you, or all of humanity, it was our heavenly Father. Yet, He did. The scripture I referenced earlier, Ephesians 4:32 tells us,
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
On the cross Jesus, after being betrayed by one of those closest to him, and being tortured by the very people he came to save, cries out, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The longsuffering Jesus demonstrated on the cross was fueled by one very important thing: Love.
In this we are reminded the fruit of the spirit isn’t independent of each characteristic. When we are having trouble with patience, do we need to cultivate love in our hearts or kindness in our attitude? 1 John 4:19 reminds us,
We love because he first loved us.
You might not be faced with significant insult or provacation daily, but practicing patience in the little things, the other Greek word I referenced, hupomene, will help the fruit of longsuffering to grow within us. If we allow love to cultivate our patience then we will embody the characteristics found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
It means:
· You won’t speak unkindly when someone is driving you crazy
· You won’t make rude comments
· You refuse to be angry
· You choose to believe the best about other people
· You won’t act like the world is coming to an end because you need to wait in line
· You will count to ten before commenting when your spouse frustrates you
· You won’t expect perfection
It also means you’ll learn the art of self-correction. When you do act impatiently, be quick to apologize. Instead of responding in the moment, pause and think of other ways to handle a situation. If you can’t come up with a loving response, turn to prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to help you with situations, He wants you to operate in the fruit of the spirit.
In Him, we find the ability to show makrothumia and to forgive. Even in our struggles, He is patient with us, forgiving us when we mess up and leading us back to a life reflecting Him. It’s not a matter of how I feel about the situation or the person, it’s a matter of choice.
Living radiantly means choosing patience, choosing to love, and choosing to forgive.
I don’t know about you, but I need His help with all those things, pray with me as we ask for His guidance.
Thank you for loving me, even when I didn’t deserve it. Thank you for your patience with me, even when I have failed time and again. Lord, I want to grow in the fruit of the spirit. I want my life and my actions to be anchored by love so I can respond with patience, and with forbearance to every person and in every situation. God, sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes, my feelings threaten to overwhelm me, and being patient, being kind, being loving doesn’t seem fair. Help me to remember that when I choose those responses I won’t be faced with regret, and bitterness won’t consume my life. Help me to live in a way that reflects the radiance of your love to those around me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Let’s go live radiantly.
XOXO,
Laura
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Galatians 5
Ephesians 4
Colossians 3
The Garden Within, Dr. Anita Phillips
All scripture NIV unless otherwise noted
1. Martin G. Collins, “Longsuffering”, Church of God, May 1998, accessed March 2024, <https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/BS/k/278/longsuffering.htm>
